[zb]

Here goes... I grew up on British television, let's see how many lotr mixups I can do.

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates:

at the gates of Moria
GANDALF is trying to find the right password to open the gates.
PIPPIN: You'll have to think laterally.
MERRY: What, lie down and think?

Yeah, the quote's not quite right, but if you've seen the show you'll get it...

Or the Goodies:
FRODO: What's on the menu?
SAM: Well, there's lembas, lembas cake, fried lembas, or chicken suprise.
FRODO: I'll have the chicken surprise.
SAM presents him with a piece of lembas.
FRODO: But this is lembas!
SAM: That's the suprise.

Jonathan Creek:
at the Prancing Pony
FRODO has just disappeared.
ARWEN to ARAGORN: But how does a hobbit just disappear like that?
ARAGORN: Hmm...
ARAGORN and ARWEN traipse around the countryside for a bit, talking to people, looking for clues, being puzzled by the mystery and nearly being killed.
ARWEN: I know, Barliman Butterbur threw a cloak of invisiblity over Frodo!
ARAGORN carefully but with exasperation explains why ARWEN is wrong.
ARWEN: I know, Frodo didn't really disappear, he had a stunt double do it for him!
ARAGORN: But that doesn't explain why someone disappeared.
They continue to look for clues.
AUDIENCE: Yeah, how did Frodo disappear like that?!
ARAGORN: I got it!
He proceeds to explain how he deduced Frodo's posession of the Ring, and the Ring's power, from the fact that the floor at the Pony hadn't been swept properly, and the shape of Frodo's ears.
AUDIENCE: he is so smart!

Black Books:
ARAGORN: (wearing an accordion) Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this either, but I thought it would be less obvious. So if you could just kind of stand there and look wistful, and I...
EOWYN: No thanks, goodbye.
{coupla lines cut so scene makes lotr sense}
ARAGORN: But... but... (holds up a bunch of flowers)
EOWYN: Get lost!
ARAGORN: No no. You're my summer girlfriend. You don't get angry. You throw your head back and laugh as we bicycle around the Cotswolds in a taxi. You flick the cherry off the pie and only eat the cream because that's what Auntie Nibs used to do.
EOWYN: What?

(obviously, this is something movie-aragorn would do, rather than book-Aragorn)