[Maegaladiel]

Okay, here goes nothing:

First, I would collect a huge supply of food. Mostly potatoes.

Next, I would get two really hot elves (a male and female) to faint in front of the White House. Then, while every government official and security person was trying to look the most heroic to save the hot elves and impress them, I'd run into the white house and lock the doors.

Then I'd send my army of hobbits to eat all the food within a seven-hundred mile radius, and send my eagle army to cut the power to every major city in the world. Then, VIOLA! I control the country's food supply, and, using my potatoes as crude batteries, controll the world's electricty as well. It's as easy as that. More to come.