Lailath, I do not have time to check now , but my guess is that the bit about the wives of the sons of Feanor was in THe shibboleth of feanor in HoME XII.
Again to try and clarify,
Being the child of the Noldor [ and by extension a High-elf] makes you a noldor[ and by extension a High-elf].
If you were born [ as Noldor] in M-E after the death of the 2 trees, then you [ most likely] would NOT be considered a Kalaquendi, because the name reffers explicitly to Elves who had seen the light of the 2 Trees.
So...
All Kalaquendi are either Vantar, Noldor or teleri [ including Thingol]
All of the above are also High-Elves.
However not all High-Elves are Kalaquendi if they were born of the above parents [excepting Luthien for now] if they were born in M-E and never saw the light of the Trees.
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The dwindling Men of the West would often sit up late into the night exchanging lore & wisdom such as they still possessed that they should not fall back into the mean estate of those who never knew or indeed rebelled against the Light.
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