The Silmarillion states that only Finarfin and his descendents inherited the golden hair of his mother, Indis:
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Alone among the Noldorin princes he and his descendants had golden hair, derived from his mother Indis, who was a Vanyarin Elf.
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Turgon's daugther Idril is the only exception we see:
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But fairer than all the wonders of Gondolin was Idril, Turgon's daughter, she that was called Celebrindal, the Silver-foot, whose hair was as the gold of Laurelin before the coming of Melkor.
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A possible explanation of this is that she inherited this hair colour from Elenwë, her mother.
Your generalizations of hair colour are way too broad.
Vanyar were not the only kindred to have golden hair. That is totally, completely false. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
Thranduil and Glorfindel (just off the top of my head) had golden hair.
ALMOST all of the Vanyar had blonde hair. MOST of the Noldor had dark hair. The hair colour of the Teleri is varied (dark, gold, silver).
You must think of it like this: 144 elves awoke in the beginning. They didn't divide themselves up into three/four groups based on hair colour and only reproduce within their own groups. The division of kindreds came later on when the elves were deciding which [eventual] elf-lord they would follow.