[Oddwen]

I care too! It's just been busy, I guess...

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Sam: I am not fat! *Sam sobs his li'l heart out*

*meanwhile, Frodo hears a loud sneeze and goes to investigate*

Gollum: Oh, isn't he Precious? Fat he is!

Sam: I am not fat! I'm just...festively plump.

G: Pphhft.

Sam: Boy, all we need now is some 'taters.

G: Taters? Oh, puh-leesssse. You ignorant FAT hobbitses...don't need taters. Rutabaga and chives! And you'll be wanting some nicccce parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme too, eh precious?

S: I'll parsley sage rosemary and thyme you...hey Mr. Frodo? *goes crashing loudly through the brush screaming* MISTER FROOOOODOOOOOOOO!!!

*Frodo grabs Sam's leg from his hiding place in a bush*

F: Will you shut up!

*Smeagol sneaks up behind them, giggling faintly and holding a cup of warm water*

S: That only works when we're asleep, Stinker! Oh wait, I probably shouldn't have said that. Every time you open your mouth, my old Gaffer used to say, I'd put my big foo-*Frodo stifles him*

*The trio see in front of them sneaking through the bushes...men wearing altogether too much eyeliner! It is a horrible sight, as one of them keeps drinking out of a glass bottle and screaming "That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow to you, savvy?" But just then, Sam grabbed Frodo's arm*

S: Mr. Frodo, look! It's an Oliphaunt!

F: Where?

S: *points* Right there!

F: I don't see...

S: *grabs Fro's head and points it at the Oliphaunt* RIGHT there.

F: Sorry, I'm just not seeing it.

S: D'oh!

*Gollum, tiring of this stupidity, abruptly leaves*

S: How can you say you can't see it? It's as grey as a mouse, and big as a house!

F: Sorry, dude. Must be my politician wound has blinded me to potential pork bills.

S: Pork?? Pork??? Mr. Frodo, I know pork, and that ain't pork!

*Suddenly, arrows fwip! out of nowhere, and the men in eyeliner start screaming and flailing wildly. The one with the bottle screamed out "YO HO my hearties!" one last time before being ensnared in a loose rope off of one of the Oliphaunts, and jerked about like a rag doll. His body landed smack in front of the two hobbits*

S&F: Yipe.

F: I think we've lingered quite long enough. Let's skedaddle. *Fro jumps up and turns, and runs right into a really tall man*

S: I can't believe you didn't see that...hey Mr. Tall Guy! Did you see that Oliphaunt?

Tall Guy: Several.

S: I told you, Mr. Frodo....hey! You can't treat Mr. Frodo like that! *he tries to pull his sword out of the sheath, but it sticks*

S: Dratted Gollum and his dratted peanut butter...nevermind! I think I'll just sit on you! *he rushes the man, but another knocks him down and puts a sword to his throat*

*A creepy guy appears. His nose is very large*

Faramir: Bind their hair from their faces. It must be blinding them.

Madril: Ahem...

F: Oh yes. Glue their fingernails together...*Madril shakes his head* I mean tie them together with used hankerchiefs. *Madril rolls his eyes and the hobbits are toted off screaming*


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Wheee-eeew!

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 1:40 AM January 31, 2004: Message edited by: Oddwen ]