[The Saucepan Man]

Happily, judge lindil’s exhortations (and some might say, albeit unfairly, unbecoming conduct for one of such high judicial office) fall on deaf ears. For the Saucepan Man, perceiving the hopelessness of his valiant attempts to tie up the proceedings in procedural red tape in a tribunal such as this, has long since departed. In fact, they would have fallen on deaf ears had Saucepan been there, since the incessant clattering has taken its toll on his aural faculties.

All of a sudden, however, a tremendous racket is heard once again outside the courtroom. But this time the noise is different. It is the kind of sound that one might hear Wile E Coyote make if he were pursuing the ever elusive Road Runner with a set of springs purchased from the ACME company tied to his feet, interspersed with shocked gasps and the occasional titter.

*boing boing*

“GASP!”

*boing boing*

“TITTER!”

*boing boing*

“GASP!”

Once again, all eyes turn to the door. Gradually the sound increases, the tension inexorably mounting, until suddenly the doors burst open and a rather large kangaroo adorned with a judge’s wig bursts in with several court staff in tow, and proceeds to bounce haphazardly around the hallowed hall.

At first there is a stunned silence. Then, as the Antipodean antics continue unabated, smiles begin to play on the faces of all present. All, that is, except judge lindil and his SGT. Even the judge’s clerk is desperately trying to conceal a grin.

“Order! Order!” cries the judge, “SGT, remove that creature from my courtroom at once!”

“Order! Order!” repeats the mad marsupial, removing a gavel from its pouch and waving it wildly in the air as it circles the judge’s desk with ever increasing leaps and bounds.

Obeying the prestigious judge, the SGT begins to chase the calamitous creature around the courtroom, but every time that he appears to be nearing his quarry, it veers dangerously to one side or the other. Within no time, the poor court officer is puffing away and muttering incoherently.

By now, the smiles have turned to giggles which, in turn, graduate to chuckles and then to guffaws, and soon all but the apoplectic judge and the gradually expiring SGT are laughing uncontrollably.

“Silence in court!” screams the judge, “Order! Order! I WILL have order in my court”

“Order! Order! I WILL have order in my court” mimics the dynamic disruption from Down Under, springing happily up and down upon the prone figure of the SGT, its judicial and judicious wig flapping ludicrously up and down on its head with every bounce.

Then, without a bye or a leave, the krazed kangaroo makes one last great bound towards the door and is gone.

Slowly, the merriment dies down and, as the hapless SGT picks himself up off the floor, all heads turn as one to judge lindil, who, with as much dignity as he is able to muster in the circumstances, declares “I said NEXT!”

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