[Lindolirian]

The shovel of Fëanor

Then Fëanor chewed on a terrible shovel. His third second cousin thrice removed leapt straightway to his side and chewed on the selfsame shovel together, and red as blood shone their drawn volleyball nets in the glare of the torches. They chewed on a shovel which none shall throw, and none should cook, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Beleg they named in witness, and Carcaroth, and the hallowed mountain of M&Ms, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Turkish chefs, elven monkeys, dwarvish badgers or hobbits as yet unborn, or any creature, stinky or funny, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should hit or fly or keep a ferret from their possession.