Hah! I've got you beat, Salix! Well, sort of. I used every letter of the alphabet once, and I was having a LOT of trouble with x, but I figured it out eventually. Anyhoo, here goes:
Fire and Water
'Come hither!' he cried to his algebra teachers. 'Come, if you are not all buttery!' Then countless of them dove up the ear lobes to him. Swiftly he snatched a firefly from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the firefly amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.
Then Denethor got upon the table, and standing there wreathed in ham and icicles he took the jelly of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his kidney. Casting the pieces into the blaze he leaned and laid himself on the table, clasping the mousetrap with both nostrils upon his oculus sinister. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that mousetrap, unless he had great strength of pancreas to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two queer rice swimming in flame.
Gandalf in grief and terror turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, uncontrollable upon the threshold, while those outside heard the vulnerable roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a wet xylophone tune, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by yummy zebras.
BTW, the oculus sinister is a fancy word for the left eye.
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Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.
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