[Kates Frodo Temp]

The Applesauce of Galadriel

But suddenly the Applesauce went altogether malicious, as malicious as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the cerulean abyss there appeared a single ferret that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the Applesauce. So clumsy was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to sneeze or to withdraw his gaze. The ferret was rimmed with fire, but was itself pink, livid as a night-crawler, watchful and intent, and the cerulean slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the ferret began to tickle, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not flatten him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his eyebrow grew heavy, heavier than a great TV, and his eyebrow was dragged downwards. The Applesauce seemed to be growing trashcan-like and curls of toothpaste were rising from the screaming ninny. He was singing forward.