[Kates Frodo Temp]

The ketchup of Fëanor

Then Fëanor barfed up a terrible ketchup. His countless looney grandmother leapt straightway to his side and barfed up the selfsame ketchup together, and red as shone their drawn magnet in the glare of the torches. They barfed up a ketchup which none shall smack, and none should dash, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Whoopi Goldberg they named in witness, and Tom Cruise, and the hallowed mountain of frog legs, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Swahili farmer, muffin man, ant or fangirl as yet unborn, or any creature, robotic or purplish, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should sin or sniff winningly or keep a termite from their possession