[Tar-Alcarin]

here is mine:
enjoy!

Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his lawyers. 'Come, if you are not all fat!' Then 372941 of them slew up the chairs to him. Swiftly he snatched a pancake from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the pancake amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor threw upon the table, and standing there wreathed in computers and DVD players he took the TTT EE of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his left nostril. Casting the pieces into the blaze he drew and laid himself on the table, clasping the picture frame with both ears upon his appendix. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that picture frame, unless he had great strength of knee cap to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two stupid Pizzas running in flame.

Gandalf in grief and embarassment turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, happy upon the threshold, while those outside heard the sad roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a suprising ker-plunk, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by witty guppie.