Ooh! Ooh! I got one!
Pippin, Merry, and Frodo: "We are the Hobbits Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."
Pippin: "We don't do anything!"
Frodo: "Well, I've never been to Mirkwood and I've never been to Rohan, and I've never gotten treasure from an ancient dwarven hall, and I've never been to Lorien and I've never been to Moria, and I've never been to Gondor in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Hobbits Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."
Merry: "We don't do anything. And I never practice swordplay and I never shoot at targets, and I never practice jumping 'cuz I never ride at all, and I've never been in battle and I've never owned a warhorse, and I've never been to Gondor in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Hobbits Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ... We don't do anything!"
Pippin: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Gondor in the fall!"
Frodo: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a hobbit??"
Merry: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about non-hobbity things we don’t do!"
Pippin: "Oh ..."
Frodo: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
Merry: "I think your eyes are freakishly huge."
Frodo: "Huh? They are not!"
Merry: "Are too."
Frodo: "Are not!"
Merry: "And you have a weird neck.”
Frodo: "That's it, you're helping Sam with the garden!"
Merry: "Says who?"
Frodo: "Says the master of Bag End, that's who!"
Merry: "Oh, yeah? Yes, sir, ‘master!’”
Frodo: “Arrg!”
Pippin: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings..."
Frodo: "You just don't get it!"
All: "And we've never been to Gondor in the fall!"
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