Ahahaha! I especially love "Eau de Aragorn", Isilya, and the Mountain Dew parody, Telwilyeil Greenleaf!
*Deep breath* now I shall try my hand:
Pippin is sitting by himself in the dark.
Announcer: You've been dragged around by Uruk-hai, had to sit through a three-day Entmoot, and Gandalf snapped at you the very first time you saw him after he came back from the dead! What would make you feel better?
Pippin: Pipe-weed?
Announcer: No! You need to come to Palantíri-R-Us! Black ones, blue ones, purple ones, chartreuse ones! Look in a Palantír today and all your troubles will go away!
Okay, so that was lame. Maybe I'll come back if I get a decent idea...
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All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression.
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