[Kalimac]

Transcript of a phone call made sometime in the late 3rd age [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img].

[Ring! Ring!]

"Mae govannen, you have reached the Valley of Rivendell, site of the Last Homely House and most easily accessible Elvish settlement from both Lothlorien and the Grey Havens. For Elvish, press 1. For Westron, press 2. For Dwarvish, please hold for the operator.

[press 1]

Thank you for calling Rivendell. For information on bookings, press 1. For directions, press 2. For information on our Mordor and Surrounding Lands refugee program, press 3. If you know your party's name or extension, please press 4. If you need assistance, please hold for the operator.

[press 4]

"If you know your party's extension, please press 1. To dial by name, please press 2."

[press 2]

"Please enter the first five digits of your party's last name."

[E-V-E-N-S]

"I'm sorry, that name is not defined. To enter another name, please press 1. To return to previous menu, press 0."

[U-N-D-O-M]

"Please hold, while I transfer you to (Arwen's voice) `Arwen Undomiel'. This may take a few moments."

(Hold, while a Muzak version of "The Lay of Beren and Luthien" plays. At the the fifteenth repetition of "Tinuviel, Tinuviel!" we hear [Ring! Ring!])

"Mae govannen and welcome, you've reached the voicemail of Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar and daughter of Elrond Half-Elven. I'm in Lothlorien with my grandmother Galadriel or disputing my future with my father right now, so I'm afraid I can't come to the phone. Your call is important to me, so please leave a message and I'll call back before the next century. If you need immediate help, please press 0 for the operator."

[press 0]

(Muzak rendition of "The Road Goes Ever On and On")

(Jazzed-up rendition of "The Sun Shines On The Road" one of Bilbo's more forgettable compositions)

"Thank you for holding. One of our operators will be available to assist you shortly."

(Another rendition of "Beren and Luthien" this time played in full. Finally).

"Thankyouforcalling, thisisLindir, howmayIhelpyouSirorMa'am?"

"Uh, hello, uh, Lindir, but I was wondering if I could talk to Miss Arwen Undomiel? I tried calling her and I got her voicemail."

"Oh, OK. Lemme look around...oh wait, ya know, she just stepped out to Lorien a year ago and she's prolly not gonna be back until the next coupla decades are over. Wanna leave her a message?"

"Uh, could I have her phone number at Lorien?"

"Sir, I'm not allowed to tell you that, Elrond's orders. You want her voicemail?"

"Oh, all right."

[Click! Transfer to Arwen's voicemail."

"Uh, hello, Arwen, it's me, Estel. Or actually Aragorn and Thorongil is what they're calling me these days, but you probably remember me as Estel. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch before now but I haven't had too many chances to get close to a phone, kinda busy winning my spurs and planning to reclaim my kingdom and all...well, anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and I remember you, and I kind of hope we can, well, pick up where we left off thirty years ago. You remember...oh, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway I hope you still feel the same way.

"OK, I'd better be going now. I guess I'll try and track down your Lorien number somehow. I don't have a cell number or anything, it's too easy for other people to track. So I guess I'll just be calling you in a couple more decades. Bye. Love - I mean, I hope you're happy. See you. Bye. Yeah, I guess that's it. Till next decade, then."

[Terminate call]

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Kalimac ]