LEGOLAS: Hi, you have reached Legolas Greenleaf. If you are a Mary Sue calling to ask me out, dial 1-800-GO2-UDUN. If you are a dwarf calling to ask me out, call me on my cell. *Sound of giggling*. If you're my father, Daddy, I kinda maxed out your plastic on hair products and nail polish. Send me some more money - I wanna take the dwarf out somewhere nice for our anniversary. Maybe a cruise...
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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