Sauron: (sorry if i took someones idea) Hi! You've reached the home of Sauron. I'm probably out torturing things, so leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you when they're good and mutilated.
Pippin: Hello, this is Pippin Took. I'm not available right now because I'm most likely at the Green Dragon getting drunk or stealing mushrooms from Farmer Maggot's crop. If you have any pipeweed, press 0 and I'll get back to you right away. For the rest of you, I'll try.
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"There's a big...machine in the sky...some kind of electric snake...coming straight at us."
"Shoot it," said my attorney.
"Not yet...I want to study its habits."
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