[Ainaserkewen]

Hee Hee! Funny again.
Uh, let me think. I'm reusing some though.

Legolas-Hello, you've reached Legolas's machine, if this is Kimwen, See you tonight, if this is Kame, I'll call you, Diathalewen, I'm sick, Rianon, I've moved to Alaska, oh and if this is my hairdresser, you're check is in the mail.

Elrond-(in french accent)Hello? This is the maid, I was made to answer the phone, ha!
Sil-vu-plait, leave a message after the boop and I make them to call you back.
(I found that on a tape, thought it was funny)

Moria-Hi, you've reached Moria, we can't come to the phone right now because we are currently under siege, leave your name and number and the last one alive will get back to you(I hope you can speak orcish) If this is Dain, tell my family I love them, AHHHHHH!