saruman to sauron: are you feeling okay? your eye is a little red.
sauron: yeah, so i've killed, and destroyed, and terrorized people in middle earth for a long time, but does anyone care when i have a bad day? (giant flaming tears fall)
elves: (wearing T-shirts) "never underestimate the power of stupid people (Men) in large groups.
sauron: i'm thinking of getting my eyelid pierced.
gandalf: another grass stain? and in my white robe too! this will never come out! i guess they'll have to change my name to Gandalf the Slightly Greenish. drat.
aragorn to gandalf: and all this time, i thought that ring on your finger was of a wife that you never told anyone about!
bilbo flipping through his books: oh, paper cut!
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"I can add some more if you like it, calling your Chief names, wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and thinking you Sheriffs look a lot of Tom-fools!" Samwise Gamgee
Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed, by the renewing of your mind.
Romans 12:2
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