Here's an attempt...it isn't that funny, but I tried!!
Gandalf: You shall not pass!
Balrog: Lookie here mister, I'm sorry I'm a nickel off of the tool both fee, but please let me pass!! If I lose my job...!!
Gandalf: What's the job? To kill someone, I'll warrant.
Balrog: Weeell, yes....b-but, I have.....um....a wife and three kids at home!!
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...and when I conquer the world, you can be in charge of my ray gun!
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