Mr. Sauron, I represent Evil Monotreme Enterprises, and might I say we feel *strangely drawn* to your new scheme... er... theme... park, yes that was it.
Why, I say why just control the world, when you can control the shelves? My company would like to negotiate for the rights to start producing quality brand-name souvenirs. Let's brainstorm here - I'm talking, uh... doorstops shaped like Minas Morgul, uh... coffee mugs that say "Eye've been to Mordor", with a great big Eye on them, you know what I'm saying here? Little tiny Orc paperweights, hell I could even sell genuine Lucky Mount Doom rocks. Maybe every thousandth one has a ring in it, I don't know!
Anyway, I'll let you get back to me, but don't forget now, Evil Monotreme Enterprises was the ones what came to you first!
Yes, that's it, I'll buy the rights cheap now, and make MILLIONS! Did I type that or just think it?
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But Gwindor answered: 'The doom lies in yourself, not in your name'.
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