[good idea at the time]

Dear Nienna Telmar,

Sauron said I have to sit in the corner and think about what I did until I say sorry, so here's my letter:

I'm sorry for writing rude words on your boat. The gasoline was not to set your boat on fire, as again, I don't like fire. I just wanted to make sure the gas tank was full so I could leave it somewhere that would take you a while to find it. Sorry for that too. How was I supposed to know elves are too primitive to have motors? Oh, Sauron says that wasn't nice either. Sorry.

I'm sending some goblins to go repair the boat.

Oh yeah, and um, congradulations, I guess, about the whole Employee of the Month thing. I didn't want any dumb award anyway.

-Stewart the Ringwrait