Dear Mister Sauron,
I do appreciate your generous free tour around the park. It did help me get aquainted with these new surroundings and all. However, circumstances have forced me to request additional security. After the newsletter about the halfling with the ring, I've had numerous people and things attempting to abduct, kill, and do other very bad things to me, on the sole fact that I am a hobbit myself. The new employee name badge did not seem to help very much. Woul I be able to follow around one of those large Wraith fellows? They're very impressive, authoritative if I may say so, yet good-natured. I'm sure these attacks will subside with a little more park security.
I do apologise if I came off as a bit upset, but this really is important, and besides, after a few attacks I've had a few outrageous propositions, all of which I've declined. There are some real weirdos out there....
Your servant,
Lindril Arvilya.
__________________
Neo, watch out! Trinity's going to steal your pants! Pants thief! Pants thief!
|