[Zohariel]

Arwen, Aragorn is going to die. Deal with it.

Eowyn, Theodred is dead. Get over it.

Eomer, go get yourself some lips.

Frodo, you look a total ponce in that mithril.

Just face it Aragorn, Legolas is soooo
much better looking than you.

How's the plastic surgery going Haldir?

Three words Gimli. Cut. Your. Hair.

Boromir, did anyone ever tell you that shield is actually a dinner plate?

Well actually Legolas, I set your hair on fire. Muahahaha!

Oh go play with your barbie Eowyn.

Rosie, I hope you know that Sam is in love with Frodo.

Gandalf, did I mention that the entire year's crop of pipeweed has been obliterated? Never mind old chap...

Urgh, Elrond! Did you fart?

Hey Celeborn. Any reason why you're wearing a dress?

Or

Hey Celeborn, didn't know you were a cross dresser.