I've never laughed that hard in my entire life! Oh wait- yes I have. But I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. Oh wait- yes I have. Um... I haven't laughed that hard in two days? Yeah, that works!
"Millions of copies of the LOTR DVD have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film." ~ever heard of widescreen edition?
"I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own." ~ Oh. My. God. I never knew that ME had magical artifacts! *laughes at my own cynicism and sarcastically disdainful post*
"Give me one reason that story couldn't have been told without all the fighting." ~1) THE WAR OF THE RING! Who's ever heard of a war with no fighting? Or do they want LOTR-gone-Disney, because we could e-mail this poor, poor man the link to that particular thread.
"If you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again." ~I never knew that hobbits were stuffed with feathers! Oh, I know- they must have had chicken for dinner.
"Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman." ~point being?
"None of my reading on evolutionary biology reveals a single reason why a particular race of humans would develop unflammable facial hair as this would provide practically no advantage in either survival or mating." ~but I bet he's never read up on the evolutionary biology of 'unflammable facial hair' of WIZARDS. I repeat- not human. Come on, buddy, time to start crackin'.
"The "travelling on our quest through a corn field" scene was stolen from Shrek." ~*"Hobbits are like... onions. Not parfaits, not layer cake... onions."*
"Sorry, Mr. Jackson, but modern science has proven that in any modern civilization, hippies would be extinct." ~I happen to love VT, thank you very much.
"Why couldn't Bilbo have been played by Vin Diesel?" ~the slight height differential might have made it difficult
Ahh, me... I should really stay away from this type of thread. It amuses me far too much. I actually didn't realize that this was a joke until I read the dropping-Gimli part. Then I went back and actually started to find some of the stuff amusing. Not that amusing that I'd share it with friends... it's not worth the energy it would take to show them... Oh well. It was worth the laugh. My advice to the rest of the posters: when the start of a thread says "at your own risk" or anything of the sort, it usually means you may not like it. Also, (and it took me awhile to get this one down) NOT EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD HAS THE SAME TASTE IN BOOKS! Ours is simply better than theirs! Lighten up.
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"I come from yonder...Have you seen Baggins? Baggins has left, he is coming. He is not far away. I wish to find him. If he passes will you tell me? I will come back with gold." - Khamul the Easterling
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