[Evisse the Blue]

Half an year later, I'm reviving this thread to add my pathetic excuse of a parody to Eminem's 'lose yourself'. Well - if nobody else did it, I just had to do it. This song positively asks for a ME- style parody. Anyone else is most welcome to have a better shot at it. In the meantime here's my version:

lose yourself

(Look, if you had, one shot, one opportunity, to seize the thing you always wanted, the One Ring, would you capture it, or just let it slip?)

His palms are sweaty,
knees weak, arms are heavy
there's vomit on his elf cloak already:
Galadriel's lembas,
but on the surface he looks calm and ready,
to cast the Ring down,
but he keeps clutching it then and now.
The whole world goes so still,
He reaches for it and -
there goes his will;
he's claimed it, how everybody's trembling now,
'could be all over now, time's out, over, bleoah!

Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity,
oh, there goes Gollum, he kicked poor Sam Gamgee,
He’s so mad but he won’t give up that Ring
Is he? No; he won’t have it, he knows – all his slinkety ropes
They don’t matter no more
He knows that but he’s broke,
So obsessed and he knows it,
He’d better go capture the Ring and hope it won’t pass him.

Refrain:
Lose yourself to the Ring NOT,
The moment you own it,
You better quickly let it go,
You only get one shot,
Do not miss your chance to throw it
This opportunity comes once in an age,
You better, lose yourself….

Gollum’s got his Precious now, Sauron could be escaping,
The world is his for the taking
Make him king as we move toward a new world order.
Frodo’s life was boring, but Ringbearing’s close to post mortar
The Ring only grows harder, it only grows hotter,
The Eye is all over him, the Nazgul all on him
Coast to coast he’s known as the Middle Earth trotter,
Lonely roads, Eru only knows
He’s gone farther from home, and he’s missing a finger
He goes home and barely knows his own Shire
But hold your nose, ‘cause here it comes, the hot lava,
Gollum fell with the Ring and now he’s cold product.
We move on to the next age, rejoice, Sauron passed and left nada,
So the epic is told and unfolds, I supposed Frodo’s doomed now,
Cause the Cracks of Doom go: dada dum, da dum da da.

Refrain:….