Aw man, why'd you have to throw in the "no modern technology" clause? I was gonna have Pippin invent the first beer (or ale) hat!
(Best said with Irish accent) "You see, your pints of ale go here, one on either side of the helmet, and these hoses lead from the top of them down to your mouth. If you suck on the end of the hose, you can immediately take a refreshing draught of ale without having to lift a finger. Who's the fool now?!"
Okay, that was bad, but couldn't you just see Pippin wearing one of those stupid things?
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue
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