[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Long have I pondered the question of Creation. Now my crackpot theory is complete:

If we apply Big-Band theory to the Ainulindalë it would suggest that the very first words of the Music came from Eru himself, and that they were "A-one; a-two; a-one, two, three, four...". Furthermore, since nobody wants to go into a jam that will shape the destiny of an entire planet without a little practice, I think that they must have done a warm-up number first. Given the nature of the theory applied, this can only have been The Chattanooga Choo-Choo.

This leaves only the question of Melkor's discordant theme: many suggestions of merit have been put forward, but my favourite at the moment is that he went into an unplanned trombone solo.