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I think that he fails, as did Niphredil Baggins in her first attempt in her castle, in that the details are all mundane. But is that not so of the Shire, too? What's different? I need to think about this some more, but I'm stuck and wouldn't mind some feedback.
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The Shire, besides being quite ordinary, instills the reader with a sense of wonder because it's intrinsically a
good place, and a place that most readers, especially now in our world of distrust and crime, wish they could visit. The details of the Shire, and you'll notice that there are many as compared to Rivendell or Gondor, are never too much because they could be common, but really aren't anymore. It's almost like a window into an alternate reality.
As far as the role of Hobbits in Middle Earth goes, it sounds to me like Anna hit it. Hobbits personalize Middle Earth for us, thinking and saying all the things we might if we were trudging over the snow-bound Caradhras or gazing in awe at the Golden Wood. Hobbits are our link, our visa, if you will, to Middle Earth.