[Nurumaiel]

There was a long silence, in which no noise disturbed the picture that anyone who had entered the room would have seen. Adrama's face was drained of all color, and she sat stiff and erect, staring off into nothing, her eyes filled with emptiness, and no emotion on her face. Pelien was also silent, and she looked nervous. Perhaps she was afraid her daughter had despaired and would do something terrible now that she had nothing to live for. Or perhaps she thought her daughter would fight back with more strength than ever, even abducting Finduilas. The idea was absurd, Pelien realized at once, but what was Adrama thinking? Her face and her eyes showed absolutely nothing.

Minutes passed. At last a deep sigh escaped from Adrama's lips, and she leaned back, her hands resting casually on the arms of the chair, looking her mother evenly in the eye. There was no frustration, no sorrow, no anger in her any longer. She suddenly seemed very weary, and much older than her twenty-six years. And she was so calm...... Well, no doubt she'd go to her room later and have a good cry when the emotions really came to her.She did not speak for awhile, but Pelien felt relief, for her daughter's attitude did not signify that she was going to do something rash.

"Well....." Adrama murmured, and then fell silent again. This time, however, only a few seconds passed before she spoke again. She said just a few words, with such simplicity and tiredness that she could have convinced most anyone of the truth in her words. "It's over, then."

Pelien opened her mouth to speak against that, but before she could Adrama sat up abruptly and slammed her hand down into the table. Suddenly her feelings were back, all her emotions. "No, Mother!" she cried. "It's over, and nothing can be said to the contrary. Does this not clearly say that Denethor loves Finduilas above anything, and he will never turn from her? It's hopeless. I love him still, but I give up the fight now. It is no longer any of my business. I will not interfer in their love for each other." Her anger slowly seeped away, and then she appeared quite calm.

"Adrama, please do not give up hope. You believe that they love each other? Perhaps, just perhaps it is an illusion, and soon they will realize they do not love each other."

The young woman smiled sadly and shook her head. "Mother, they love each other, else Denethor would have given in easily to the rumors, delighted with the opportunity of getting rid the of the girl he thought he loved. No, even if these ghastly rumors about her were true, I believe Denethor would still love her." She stood up and leaned against the wall by the window, letting a breeze blow over her pale face. "I'm sorry it didn't work, Mother. I know how much you love me. How you tried to bring the two of us together, and all for nothing. But if you truely love me, Mother, then you, like I, will give it up. Further pursuit of the matter will only bring disgrace upon our family. Do you remember when I did not care of our family's reputation? I do now, but still not as much as you would like. I would fight for Denethor and ruin our reputation, but I give up not only because it is hopeless, but because I love you. Can't you return what I do for you?"

Pelien was completely silent, but then she stood and placed her arms around her daughter, hugging her closely. "I love you, Adrama," she said, "and I will no longer act in any way to bring Denethor from Finduilas. I will not say anything, I will not do anything... I leave the outcome to Fate. But, daughter, as long as I live I will never say anything is hopeless. I believe there is always hope. And so, though I do not do anything out of love for you, I will continue to hope until it really is over."

And then a light came to Adrama's face, and hope flooded her. She returned her mother's embrace with such feeling that Pelien began to wonder if something were not the matter with her daughter. Adrama laughed and turned to the window, looking out with such peace and joy that she could never describe it afterwards. "Mother, oh dear, dear Mother, please, do not hope, for even if Denethor were to break his engagement to Finduilas, I would still not marry him. I have realized the truth." And then she laughed again, but slowly her face sobered and she shook her head. "Perhaps I am just imagining things. Oh, how quickly the heart of a human does change! I must think about it, Mother, and then I later I shall tell you the decision I come to, perhaps after the matter is settled."

And then, kissing her mother on the cheek, she called for some breakfast. Pelien was confused when Adrama left the room with an empty place. If her daughter had such a great appetite, she couldn't be sorrowing. What had come over her?

Adrama herself wasn't sure, but she felt like singing and dancing. At last everything had been made clear to her, and nothing was being hidden. Why did she not weep when she thought of how her hopes of wedding Denethor were over? And why did she suddenly think of...... here she discontinued her thoughts on that matter. She'd have to think about it first, she'd have to speak to him, she'd have to see if it was really a possibility or if she was just going crazy over her loss. But it was so clear, so clear... all her feelings were finally being revealed to her. Why had she not seen them before?

You didn't want to see them, you foolish woman, Adrama thought, stepping outside. You knew all along what was in your heart, but you ignored it because it seemed so impossible. And now, even when they're clear, they still seem impossible. Why do I not sorrow when I have been told that I have lost Denethor? Why do I instead laugh and feel joyous? Dizziness swept over her and she placed her hand against the wall of the house to steady herself. And then, suddenly, she realized. Even though her feelings for Denethor were seeping slowly out of her, she had once loved him so very much and now she had lost him. What had she been thinking before? She loved Denethor and he was gone.

A little sob burst from her and the tears came swiftly to her eyes. She leaned against the wall, breathing heavily, trying to keep herself under control. After all, she was standing outside where everyone would be able to see her. And she felt far too dizzy to go back inside to her room. No, she'd just have to keep her emotions in check, even if it was hard. She wept inwardly, but on the outside only one tear managed to escape her eye, and she kept her face well shielded to those who were at a distance.

But what of those who were standing close by? Adrama was suddenly aware of someone standing in front of her, watching her, so she turned away, murmuring a barely audible greeting. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and drop away again, and the familiar voice of Addruran ask, "Are you all right, Adrama?" There was concern in his voice, so much that she actually felt sorry for him. Turning, she put on her brightest smile and denied that she was feeling unwell.

"Very well, then," said Addruran, accepting her word, though there was suspicision in his voice. "I came to see how you and your family are doing, and to speak with you."

"No, no, Addruran, not now. I lied. I am feeling terrible. I'm so confused..... Can I talk to you later? Alone, please. No one can hear. I need someone to talk to. I desperately need someone to talk to."

"Of course," he replied, and need it be said that some hope was reborn in him when he heard her words. "Anything."

"Now I had better go back in. Mother isn't in the best of moods, I fear, and she not might like me speaking with you." Adrama said this without any fear of startling Addruran, for he knew quite well that Pelien didn't approve of him stopping by all the time. Adrama grabbed his hand and squeezed it, then, after a brief smile, disappeared into the house, hoping that her mother hadn't seen them speaking or, even worse, heard what had been said.

[ September 14, 2003: Message edited by: Nurumaiel ]