Menelduliniel looked up in surprise at the question. She sighed and chewed her lower lip, trying to think of the words to describe what she wanted.
"I-" she started, her voice fading off. She saw the others turn to look at her, and she tried to speak again, "I do not know what the others desire," she said, her voice faltering all the while, "But...I wish...I do not know how to put what I wish into words. I guess-I guess I wish most to belong. Yes, I wish to find a place where people do not close gates in my face because of deeds I have committed in my past. I know..." Menelduliniel paused a second, and drew in a long deep breath, then went on, "I know that killing her was wrong. I know not even why I did it: anger, sorrow, desperation, maybe all of these were reasons. I was younger and very stupid, I know. But...but I repent now. I hated that deed as soon as I committed it. I wished the knife were back in its sheath and not filled with that awful blood. I wish for a place where people could see that I hate the deed now...that they could see what their hatred has done to me and maybe, just maybe, find a way to love me again. But I know there is no hope for that. Poldorawen is dead, and I can never hope for redemption."
Menelduliniel paused, catching her breath, which was coming out in ragged gulps as she tried not to cry. Then she forced a whisper, "I wish for one more thing. I know-I know it is stupid but..." she paused before continuing, "I wish not to cry anymore."
Menelduliniel sat crying and listening to the others speaking. Estelarion awkwardly put a hand on Menelduliniel's back as she cried, looking incredibly uncomfortable.
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"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes
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