[piosenniel]

'You ask if you and I can face the world together. And I would say “yes” to you, save for the fact that I do not know if this is possible.'

'That is my dilemma - to be caught between my natural inclinations, the easy callousness of my familiar self and a love which seems at times to beg me to relinquish self altogether.'

She looked away from him, watching the sun sink lower in the sky. 'I have not found a middle way through this. Though, sometimes I feel my foot step rightly on the path, most times the way is hidden and I cannot make it out.'

She looked back at him. ‘I see your anger and frustration, Mithadan. And it tears me in two to be the cause of it. My actions drive a wedge between us and between myself and the other companions. You wonder if you will be forced to choose between me and the task set for us. The companions wonder if they will have to choose between you and me.’

'You say I have set you at war with yourself over this. I see that. I see the pain I cause you, and the pain I cause my other friends. It grieves me to have this happen.’ She paused, looking down at the backs of her outspread hands. 'There are times I see this and wish that I could remove myself altogether as a cause of pain for you.'

Her eyes sought his. ‘But I cannot do that. It is as I feared when you first called me back. My affection for the companions binds me to them, as my growing love for you, binds me to you.’

She sighed deeply, her next words softly spoken. ‘But the fact of this love is not enough, is it?’

There was no response to her question, and she expected none.

‘It is my actions that betray my love for you. They have been selfish, untempered by any concern for you or your sense of duty. They are divisive, causing us to lose focus, and become fragmented in our approaches to problems. We cannot hope to face the demands our quest will soon put upon us, and bring it to any successful completion in this manner. Nor can we think to face a life together if we are at such odds with each other.’

She stood, and drew near to him, placing her hands in his. ‘I would not have it so, Mithadan.’

She regarded him closely, recalling his words to her that she need not submit or lose herself to him – that he cherished her for herself. She took a step closer.

‘You said of the crew that when trouble arises they look to you for reason and steadiness and leadership. Will you offer that to me also when I come to you?’

His grey eyes held hers as he nodded his assent. Then in a clear voice he asked her also, ‘And may I look to you when trouble arises? Will you give me your reason, steadiness, your leadership . . . and your love?’

She moved within the circle of his arms and drew up against him, her head coming to rest against his shoulder.

‘I will.’ she said, simply.

He stepped back, and held her face in his hands as if to memorize this moment. Her eyes took him in fully as he bent down to her.

Then she opened herself to possibility, and surrendered to their kiss . . .

[ October 15, 2002: Message edited by: piosenniel ]