[Arvedui III]

Enien had thrown yet another diatribe he could barely remember. The nurse mixed a potion. He slept, maybe even healed; But it made no difference. Rangar woke feeling empty, bereift of emotion. Painfully sitting up, he allowed the room to spin for several minutes, then shook his head to clear it. His eyes stung in the soft candlelight, then he noticed Wren was sleeping quitey in a chair by him, Turthol's fife in her hands. Even with her eyes closed, Rangar could tell she had been crying, a lot.

A fresh stab of pain hit him, but whether that was from his prolonged struggle in the water or from seeing her grieve for something that was by rights his fault, he knew not. Gingerly, Rangar got to his feet, making sure not to wake her. His whole body hurt intensely, but he just ignored the pain and walked onto the deck. The light was gray as the sea below, calm as glass yet as innocent as himself. Some of the company was asleep on the wood, or staring out to sea, giving no heed to the rest of the ship. The crew ignored him. A small mercy, he deemed.

Rangar knew he could not mourn in front of them. And he had to get them away from them. If not for the company's safety, then for Turthol's memory. No more of his friends would fall on his account. Rangar walked to the stern of the ship and looked backward toward the passing storm, now only a faint silhouette of dark clouds and choppy waves on the horizon. He would have it so. Mark me Barodin, whatever I did to wrong you, it is nothing compared to what you have dealt me. I shall see your blood upon my blade. This I swear to you, and to my friends whom you have taken.

And, for the first time in his memory, Rangar allowed himself to cry. Silently at first, salty water falling unheralded over the railing; Then as the dark spot on the horizon vanished, small sobs. Choking breaths then, and finally his burning legs gave way and he crumpled onto the deck.

Failure. You failed him by your damnable mercy. You should have killed when you had the chance! What did your mercy do? Kill your best friend, that's what! Stupid! No, there's more to this. I learned from this, I won't hesitate to kill. I know now what mercy is. At the expense of Turthol. And Aerin, for that matter. You just stood there. I was unarmed! You let your gaurd down. Mistake. I'm allowed to make mistakes! True, but mistakes have consequences...

"Don't be so hard on yourself." It was Ani Dao. "Why?" He asked bitterly, not even bothering to look at the elf, who was reminding strongly of both Enien and Turthol at the moment. "It was out of your hands." The elf started, "No. I had the chance to kill him. And I showed him mercy." Rangar spat. The elf-captain sighed, Rangar didn't care whether she knew who ‘he' was or not, or if she cared. Which she apparently did. "Mercy, little mortal, is not something to be ashamed of or counted as a weakness. I think Turthol knew that." She added gently.

That was it. She had touched the last nerve. "I won't ever know what he would have thought BECAUSE HE'S DEAD!" Rangar screamed. Several men nearby began to stare. The elf wasn't finished yet, though. She stared angrily at him, gritted her teeth, and retorted right back. "And it wasn't your fault. There are so many ways things can turn out, Rangar. You just can't think that everything revolves around you, because it doesn't. Some things, believe it or not, are out of your control."

Rangar face fell. That was it, then. Turthol's death was no one's fault, but then, that made it even more pointless. Pointless. "I'm sorry." Rangar mumbled. "I didn't mean to yell, or call you she-elf." Ani Dao merely smiled. "Count yourself lucky. The last person, well dwarf really, who called me she-elf ended up dead. And he was a much wiser fellow than you." Rangar grinned back. It hurt, but it felt good all the same. "Captain." One of the crew members said. It was his friend, Talon.

"Yes." Ani Dao answered and for the first time Rangar realized how tired she was. " Mr. , Mr. Yazven was found in the hold ma'am. He's dead." Rangar sighed. Another death, all because of that slimly bast-"Very well then. Wrap the body and put it in the other one's room." We'll bury them both tomorrow." "Yes ma'am." Came the meak response and Talon walked off. Rangar got up, and for the first time in a long while, felt very, very hungry.

Suddenly, a cry came from the forecastle. "LAND HO!" Rangar looked ahead, and saw the faint line of Harad in the distance.