[Diamond18]

Greetings to all! I have not one, but two characters to unveil for you: Vogonwë Brownbark and Pimpiowyn daughter of Éohorse. Without further ado, let me introduce them to you:

Vogonwë Brownbark is a wood-elf from Mirkwood. He has long, silky, grey-brown hair and deep, soft grey eyes—grey as a mouse. That is, indeed, his nickname: Mouse. His build is slight, and his muscles are supple and flexible. He so flexible and dexterous, in fact, that his favorite method of mounting a horse is to do three backward summersaults and an inverted pas de chat. Yes, he is quite graceful. He is like a cat—so unfortunately he is prone to coughing up hairballs from time to time. But he is otherwise quite charming.

Though Vogonwë is originally from Mirkwood, for the past few years he has lived at the Elven Farm, where he is popular amongst the barn cats and the mice. He talks to them soothingly, and has somehow managed to convince them to get along. Between one cat and mouse there is so deep a friendship that...ahem. Moving on.

Vogonwë is a most special and uncommon Elf. Why, thou dost inquire to ask? He is the only known Elf to have not had a mother. That’s right...or at least that is what his father pretends. Vogonwë’s father tells the story of how he was walking through a forest and he came across a rotting log cover in lichen and crawling with potato bugs. He spoke to the log, and then decided the take it home and fashion it in the likeness of an Elf-child. This he did, and when the Blue Faerie stopped by for tea, she used her magick markers to bring the boy to life.

This is, of course, malarkey. The real story is that Vogonwë’s mother was a mortal woman, who died when he was but a babe. No one knows the real story about her, besides Master Brownbark, and he ain’t telling. Will Vogonwë ever learn the truth?

Vogonwë has in his possession a magic bow and arrow set. Nothing to Merisu’s, of course. No, no. His is quite different. Vogonwë wears his bow in his hair. It looks quite nice, and its magic gives him the ability to speak the language of cats and mice and other forms of fauna. The arrows, on the other hand, he is very good at throwing. Vogonwë is, incidentally, the arrow throwing champion of Mirkwood.

When he is not negotiating between cats and mice or throwing arrows, Vogonwë spends his time writing poetry about his favorite subject: Mortality. He doesn’t know why this is his favorite subject (but we do!) and yet it fascinates him. Unfortunately for Vogonwë, his poetry is not quite up to the standards of the other Elves. Perhaps it is the human blood in him...but at any rate, the only people who will consent to listening to his poetry are unsuspecting hitchhikers and barn animals. The exception to this rule is a lovely mortal who has stolen his heart....

Pimpiowyn daughter of Éohorse is a beautiful, intelligent, witty and mischievous mortal. She is half-human, half-hobbit. Yes, that is what I said. Her mother was a distant cousin of Belladonna Took, and was the tallest Hobbitlass ever to walk the green fields of the Shire. She lived in the south farthing, and one day as Éohorse was riding by (what he was doing there nobody knows) he spied her dancing amid the barley, to music of a pipe unseen. He fell in love instantly, and took her back to Rohan with him. The piper, meanwhile, kept piping.

Their daughter was Pimpiowyn, a maiden with a cascade of breathtakingly beautiful red-gold curls, and uncommonly large eyes of the deepest sapphire. She has mostly the appearance of a woman, and stands at an even 5 feet (but is quite petite and lithe, of course). From her mother she has inherited some rather Hobbit-like personality traits. The Elves would say that she is a rather Tookish young lady, if they knew what Tookishness meant. Pimpiowyn has a ravenous appetite, and is hated by other mortal women because she can pack in 6 meals a day without gaining a pound. Behind her back she is called Saucer Eyes. To her face she is called Pimpi. She likes to dance and take walks by moonlight.

Pimpiowyn was orphaned when she was 7-years-old. Her parents were having a picnic up Isengard way when a band of marauding Orcs swooped down and marauded them. Pimpiowyn was present, and was the only one of the party to escape unscathed, because a band of Elves happened by just in time to rescue her and slay the Orcs. Unfortunaly, her mother, father, and her father’s horse were all killed. The Elves, instead of returning her to her own kind, took her to the Last Home-Grown Cows where she was raised. She is now twenty-five years old, and did I mention that she is beautiful?

Pimpiowyn wears around her neck a pendant with hitherto unknown powers. It is in the shape of a horse’s head. Well, actually, it is a horse’s head. When the Elves adopted her they took the horse of her father and shrunk its head using magick markers. When it reached an ideal size, they dipped it in 24k gold and mounted emeralds into the eye-sockets. This was presented to Pimpiowyn so that she would not forget her heritage. But don’t worry...her parents were given proper burials (whew!). It is rumored that the horse head whinnies when Orcs are near. But can it do more?

Pimpiowyn spends her time eating and listening to Vogonwë’s poetry. Most of it is in tender loving homage to her mortality. Despite her beauty and other attributes too numerous to go over again, her mortality is what attracts Vogonwë to her the most.