[Phrim]

Tad Bushytop hungrily eyed the heaping mound of assorted foodstuffs that now sat before him. He had been at the Dragon before, and knew that the food was indeed top-rate; it was reputed to be one of the finest kitchens in all of the Shire. But the portions he received today were beyond generous; he might not be hungry again until dinner, possibly. This meal would certainly be a great start to a delightful trip.

The server Ruby kindly refilled his already-drained mug of ale, tarried for a while, then retreated to another portion of the inn. Completely engrossed with his meal, Bushytop barely took any notice of her until after she left. A thought struck him then. She was lingering and his table for an abnormally long period of time, wasn't she? He thought harder, and was able to recall seeing her expression out of the corner of his eye--a curious look, as if she was expecting something, and yet hesitant at the same time. His curiosity was piqued. Continuing to eat his meal, he scanned to room for signs of the departed server. Sure enough, she was in a distant corner, silently staring at him with a pensive expression. Eye contact was made, and, embarrassed, Ruby looked away quickly.

Bushytop was confused. He thought to himself, "Now what could this be all abou--!!" Suddenly, all thought stopped, as he realized that he couldn't breathe! Apparently he had been paying so much attention to Ruby's odd behavior that he completely neglected that he was chewing food. His expression went blank; he was thinking of everything and nothing all at once. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he vaguely recalled his mother warning him about not letting his mind wander at the dinner table. In his rapidly blurring vision, he saw Ruby, now looking incredibly worried, starting to dash directly at him, and then tripping over an unseen obstacle. He heard a loud crash, and felt the impact of a body on his chest. Next thing he knew, he was lying on ground, covered in his dinner, and... breathing. He was breathing!

"...Mr. Tad?" asked Ruby hesitantly, having gotten up, seemingly unscathed from the incident. "Are you... okay...?"

"I'm... I'm fine," said Bushytop, still in shock over what just happened.

Ruby broke into tears. "I'm so sorry!" she sobbed. "I've ruined everything!"

Bushytop propped himself up with his elbow. Aside from the mess of food on himself and his clothing, he seemed no worse off for all that has happened. "No... m'dear, you just saved my life!"

"I... I..." Ruby stammered, bewildered.

Bushytop got up, and made some feeble attempt to clear the wreckage. "M'dear," he continued, "I am deeply in your debt, not only for the mess I've caused in this unfortunate little accident, but also for the very life I still cling to. For the former I will gladly pay, but as for the latter, if there's anything in my power that this little hobbit can do for you, just name it."

"Well..." started Ruby, looking suddenly shy. "My, uhh, I mean, Buttercup and I were wondering if we, uhh, I mean you could, possibly, maybe, bring us back some of Laureli's wedding cake?" Ruby blushed and looked away.

"Why certainly, m'dear!" said Bushytop jovially. "I'll bring you back a good ol' hunk, they won't mind in the slightest! It's the least I can do."

Later, Bushytop had changed his clothes, had a fresh meal, and settled up with the innkeeper (paying for the damaged dishes, at his insistance). No worse off for his near-death ordeal, he merrily headed for the door, ready for the next leg of his journey, and armed with a new story that he could talk people's ears off when he arrived. As he opened the door, he took one last glance, and saw Ruby smiling at him. He gave her a wink, then headed on his way.