[Child of the 7th Age]

Child's post

Cami tugged nervously at the green gemstone that hung on a simple ribbon about her neck. She refused to look up and meet Lorien's gaze. Instead, she stared stubbornly across the pond and waited for him to speak. For several moments, the only sound she could hear was the soft murmur of water that lapped noiselessly against the shore. Then, an owl hooted from the woods, and the spell of silence was broken. Lorien knelt down beside Cami, then sat and stretched out his long legs, turning to confront her.

"Sometimes, even the giver of dreams lies trapped in a silver web of mist. So it happened last night. On the eve of your wedding, a vision came to me in troubled sleep. In my dream, I watched as the sky grew dark and a great storm arose. The wind shifted, and the clouds began to drift apart, with tiny patches of blue appearing in between. Yet still, the rain fell and would not stop."

"Then a voice spoke to me over the tumult: 'You must not forget. The storm will not abate until you tell her why she is here and what she must do.'"

Cami gave Lorien an odd glance and replied, "How can this be? I know why I'm here. That Maura and I may exchange vows. And who spoke to you?"

Lorien shook his head, "I do not know. But afterward, I remembered something I had forgotten." He looked straight at Cami, "You are here for three reasons, not just one. Like Frodo, you have come to the Shire to stand by Bilbo when he chooses to pass from Arda. But that is not all. In distant years, your people will be forgotten, your tales hidden in the pattern of warp and weft that underlies the fabric of time. But, like the Elves, you will leave gifts to those who come after you. Not gifts passed down by blood, but rather by example. From the example of your people, the big folk will learn to cherish the earth and to focus on the families that bring them into the world. For no people who live within Arda center their lives on children and family as fully as you hobbit folk do."

Lorien turned and wagged a finger directly under the hobbit's nose. "Think, Cami, think. Think back to the Star and the conversations you had with Olorin. Even before you came here, in Greenwood, you felt and sensed the brokenness in your home. And when Maura first came to the Inn, you spoke of it with tears to each other, but little more was done."

She stared up woodenly at him. "You are speaking of the boys, and of Gamba?

He snapped back at her, "Don't they have names? They are something more than "boys".

Anger and frustration flooded into Cami's mind, "Don't you think I can see the problem. But what can I do? I can't do it by myself. I've tried and tried. The Tombs broke Gamba into pieces and I can't make him whole again. "

"Maybe not. But if you give up now, you will surely fail. If you can't do it by yourself, then try to do it as a family."

Cami closed her eyes with tears brimming over, "I would if Maura was coming home with me. But I've been given no promises. And it's so hard. The little ones look to Gamba as their parent, and I am shut out."

Lorien impatiently glared back, "Promises? No one in this life is given promises. And who said anything would be easy? All you can do is make a start the best you can. What happens later, happens. Neither you or I control that. But you and Maura can choose whether you make a start."

Cami stared down at the earth and said nothing. Then she looked up at him and queried, "You will come to Bag-end, then?"

"To the party, no. But I swore to Olorin that I would be there and witness your public exchange of vows."

"And you would slip the mantle over our heads to unite us as a family, as the custom of our people demands?"

He looked over at her and nodded, "Speak to Maura first and your sons. I will be there if you need me." Then he turned and walked back in the direction of the Inn.

*********************************************

Child's post

As Cami retraced her steps to the burrow, she mulled over what Lorien had said. Gamba's behavior had troubled her as far back as the Star. It wasn't that he was always getting into trouble. She could deal with that. What bothered Cami was that the older boy held himself apart and never seemed to trust her. He kept the little ones so close that Cami could barely slip in a hug, or spend an evening together telling stories in front of the hearth. Despite every reassurance she'd offered her sons since their being in the Tombs, it was almost as if Gamba was protecting his brothers from someone or something, and that he regarded his mother as part of the problem.

With anguished thoughts, she approached the spot where Maura sat with Frodo Baggins. The two men were enjoying a shared flagon of ale and discussing the wedding ceremony and party that was to begin later that day. Cami greeted the two hobbits, placing her hand on top of Maura's.

"We need to talk. Lorien's spoken with me. It's something we need to get settled, or at least think about, before the ceremony this afternoon."

As Frodo heard Cami's words and stood up to leave, she reached over and shook her head, "No. Frodo, please stay. This is about Gamba. I've seen you speak with the boy and watch him care for his younger brothers. And I know Maura's talked to you about this before. We need all the help we can get."

For the next half hour, as the sun crept higher in the sky, Cami spilled out the words that Lorien had told her. When she had finished, she stared intently at Maura, tears spilling down her cheeks, "My whole life has been spent caring for other people's children, as a nursemaid and teacher. There were so many things I couldn't do well. I used to look at Piosenniel and wish that I could be more like her. But, with children, it was always different. They would throw their arms about me and bury their faces in my shoulder, and share their secrets with me. Yet, now, with my own sons, the people I want to help more than any others, I can't even understand them."

Maura looked at Cami's face which was shot through with despair, and then spoke quietly. "Ever since we first arrived, I knew this was troubling you. Once, early on, you began to open up. But, since then, you've kept it inside, and I was afraid to push."

Cami averted her eyes and stubbornly stared at the ground. "I felt it wasn't fair to saddle you with problems that you didn't create. Anyways, what can we do when I don't even know if we'll be together once we leave the Inn?"

"No, Cami. Whether I'm there. Whether I'm not there. You are my wife. And what we decide here, in the little time we have together will set a course for both of us in the days ahead. And until I draw my last breath, I will never stop trying to return to you."

It was Frodo who quietly interrupted. "To be truthful, I've seen how Gamba shields his brothers. And I've noticed he's more comfortable with older male figures like Maura or even Mithadan than with you who are his own mother. I don't know why that's so. Have you ever tried talking to Gamba about it? If not about his feelings, then his behavior."

Cami shook her head, "No, I was afraid. Afraid that if I laid down the law, Gamba would take the boys and disappear." She hesitated and then continued, "Frodo, I don't understand him. After everything I've done. After all I've given. Why does he still see me like this? "

"Cami, it's not you. It's nothing you've done or haven't done. It's something inside the boy. Something that happened in the Tombs before you even met him."

Maura looked up, "Every night, he sings Lindo's ancient lay about Maura to his brothers. I felt strange even hearing that. But, once he accepted I was actually that Maura, he began to warm up a little. I even tried to get him to talk about his past and his family, and the girl he lost. But he won't. In fact, I think he's hidden the truth from himself. It's almost as if there's a curtain hanging down, and he won't or can't go behind it."

"But other children I've worked with weren't like that," Cami objected. "Even Holly. And Maura has said her own parents were killed in some horrible way in front of her eyes." Cami glanced down at the girl playing quietly beside the pond.

Frodo shook his head. "Each person is different. But remember this. For years on end, the hobbits in the Tombs lived under the physical presence of Morgoth. Every act, every breath they took, was carried out under a terrible shadow. Gamba and Ban and the other children who'd been orphaned couldn't deal with that. With so much evil near them, it's easy to lose track of what's right."

"Gamba is hurting. He was broken into a thousand pieces. If anyone understands how that can happen, it's me. He will have to learn to live with that. It's not easy for him, or you. And, even if things get better, it's never going to be the same as if Gamba had grown up in the Shire, with the kind of support and caring you're used to."

"But we can't just give up. We can do something," Maura insisted. "At the ceremony today, we can bring the boys in under the mantle that will unite us as one family. Let them know that I regard and love them as my sons. And, without raising our voices or threatening, quietly tell them that they will be asked to change their behavior in certain ways. And that has to hold true whether I'm physically present, or not."

"Cami, I will not accept our sons staying out in the forest every night under separate cover, especially the little ones. No matter how fiercely Gamba loves his brothers, that has to change. He is their loving big brother, but he is not their parent. You are their mother with responsibility for feeding and defending them. He is there to help you. And you must quietly insist on that respect."

"Any other arrangement is wrong, just plain wrong. It goes against everything that I know to be good, the decency and love of family that Eru built into the hearts of hobbits. I've spent my whole life as a Loremaster studying the ancient tales, and I can not turn my back on those basic truths."

"The saddest thing to me is that, by his possessiveness, Gamba is recreating a little piece of the shadow in Greenwood. He runs the risk of becoming the very thing he fears and hates."

Maura glanced over towards Cami, "These boys will never be the happy children from the Shire you would like them to be. Sometimes, you're going to have to look for ways to bend. If Gamba is uncomfortable in a burrow, then build a different kind of house, above ground. Something with an outside porch attached so the boys can lay down and still see the stars. But, however you have to do it, keep them under one roof."

"This would be so much easier if I knew you'd be with me," Cami pleaded. "I'm not sure I can do this by myself."

Maura smiled at his wife, tenderly draping his arm about her shoulders, "Little Andreth, I believe in you, your spirit and your heart. I believe that, if you try, if you stop being so afraid of hurting Gamba's feelings, you can begin to help him heal. Act like a mother. Let him decide whether he has the inner strenth to accept you in that role. But you must quietly insist, again and again."

Frodo spoke up shyly, "Anyways, you've got the best example in all of Arda to model yourself on. Watch how Sam and Rosie handle their children. They are strict but caring, and stay as calm and firm as a rock. Talk with your sons this afternoon. Let them know you love them. Don't demand they change what they feel in their hearts. No one can do that. But let them know you've talked, and as Maura's sons, they will be asked to change their conduct in certain ways so you can draw closer together as a family."

"But what if my fears are true? What if they cannot accept those limitations and choose to leave?"

Frodo shook his head, "I don't believe that will happen. Despite all his fears and thoughtlessness, Gamba still cares for you."

But what if it does happen?" Cami pressed, her voice laced with apprehension.

Frodo responded in a somber tone, "This is how I feel. These words may sound harsh, but it's the only way. If Gamba can't bring himself to be part of a family, with all its give and take, you're better off granting him freedom and letting him go. His brothers too if they feel that way. Gamba has to understand that you're not a jailer, and he is free to depart if he really feels that is best. But, while he lives with you, there are certain rules to follow with real consequences."

"There's something else." Maura held Cami in his gaze. "It's not just Gamba who's going to be staying closer to home. Cami, I've never told you this because I didn't want to worry you. But Holly's parents were killed by Orcs. At the beginning when she came to us, I read her mind. Something is happening in Greenwood. I don't know what. But a shadow is beginning to extend its fingers over the forest glades."

"Orcs? Greenwood?" Cami froze, as a half-forgotten tale hidden under the veil of time came up and tugged at her heart. "My people know nothing of battling Orcs. They've never even seen an Orc."

"I know. I've spoken with Bilbo about it. If there were some way I could come with you.... Sad to say, I know something of Orcs and their ways." An image of his mother and sister lying mortally wounded in the hills outside Gondolin formed in Maura's mind. How ironic. He'd spent his entire life studying lore and trying to avoid the physical battle that had raged around him. Now, whatever worth he might have in Greenwood stemmed not from his book learning, but from his experience on the field of battle.

"Cami, your sons and all the other children in that settlement are in danger. Having Gamba sleep under your roof is not just a question of showing respect. It will soon become a matter of life and death. Neither you or Gamba will have much choice in this. So what we say to the boys today carries a heavy meaning."

With that somber message, they slowly walked back with Frodo towards the Inn.

[ June 19, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]