[piosenniel]

Child's post

Cami had decided to search out Lorien on her own as Bilbo had suggested. She’d heard from Pio that the Vala could sometimes be found walking near the pond or in the gardens of the Inn during the cool nightime hours after most folk had retired to their beds. A quick look outside her burrow failed to turn up any sign of the Vala, so she continued down the path that ran towards the back of the Inn.

There was a hint of moisture in the air as if it might suddenly rain. With that possibility in mind, she scurried forward more quickly until she came within sight of the hedge that bordered the Dragon on the north, encircling its garden and courtyard. Pulling the small wooden gate outward, she slipped inside and peered about the gardens. She immediately caught sight of him. He was perched on top of a table, his face tilted back as he stared up at the stars with an expression of resignation on his face.

She stumbled up to him wondering what she could possibly say that would explain how she felt and why she and Maura had chosen to do this thing, which had been expressly forbidden to them. Pio always seemed so cool and composed in the presence of the immortals. With Cami, it was different. She felt like a little girl who’d slipped inside a room where she wasn’t supposed to be and was expecting to be tossed out at any minute. Cami opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by a buzzing within her head.

There’s no need to explain. I’ve been watching. I know what you plan to do, and why the two of you think you’re right. As far as I can see, we have nothing to discuss. You knew the rules under which you came. If you choose to bend or break them, there is nothing I can do.”

He turned away and began to walk off, but she immediately chased after him. Cami had been anticipating several possible responses from the Vala. She’d considered that he might try and reason with her, or become enraged, or even threaten her with physical harm. The one thing she had not expected was this abrupt dismissal, as if she was too small and unimportant to count.

She turned to him with anger spilling over, “This is my life. It’s all I have. We’re trying to do our best, Maura and I. Why can’t you help? Why won’t you even listen to me?”

He looked over at her with a glint of compassion in his eye. I’m sorry, but I can’t. My province is that of dreams. I have done all that I can. I can not change the rules of the universe because I see a woman weeping. Believe me, I have seen many in my time, and I cannot help you, any more than I could help them, even though it may grieve us both.

Cami stumbled over the meaning of his words and felt horribly afraid, “Then Maura and I are on our own? Completely on our own? We can only guess at the right answer.” She remembered Elessar’s confident assertion that the path of right was always straight and true, clear and unchanging to all those who sought it with a good heart. Yet it did not always seem that way to her. Sometimes things seemed very clouded, and she had no idea which way to turn.

Lorien turned to Cami once more, and spoke. This time he used the words of Men so that she would understand exactly what he was saying. “You must make your own decision. I can not tell you what will happen if you break the pledge you made. But remember that you and Maura and your children are not the only ones involved. Gandalf and Bilbo gave their word to the Valar that you could deal with this situation. That the two of you would come here for a moment, and each return to your own Age. It was only because of this promise that we agreed to go ahead. Now you want to change the rules. Be forewarned. Whatever choice you make falls at least partially on the heads of Bilbo and Gandalf as well as your own.”

Without elaborating any further, Lorien reflected that a portion of the responsibility also fell on his own head, since he had heard Gandalf’s words and accepted them as wisdom. Perhaps they had all been wrong.

As Lorien abruptly stalked out the courtyard towards the open road, Cami found herself trembling. But, whether from anger or fear, she did not know. She leaned against the tree and began to cry. It was then that she heard the familiar strains of a lullabye softly coming from around the corner. Cami pushed the gate open and hurriedly scrambled towards the front of the Inn, where she found the Elf sitting on the porch with one of the twins nestled gently in her arms.

Cami hurled her body down on the steps, holding her head in her hands and sobbing, “I can’t do this any more. Whichever way I chose, I hurt someone I love. Why does life have to be this hard?”

Her words came spilling out in torrents as she confided to Pio what had happened and the stern message from the Vala. Cami looked at her friend, knowing that the Elf felt no great affection for Lorien, and wondered what she would say.

[ May 13, 2003: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]