[Lush]

Alright, now that I'm done LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY:

~~~
The Lord of the Rings by William Faulkner.

"It's them durn rings," Gandalf says. "Sauron's bound to be overtakin' the land with them durn rings. An' if he gits his paws on the One Ring, all hell's bound to break loose. It ain't right."
Frodo stares at the ring.
It looks to him as something new and hard and bright, there ought to be something a little better for it that just being safe, even in Rivendell, since the safe things are just the things that Elves have been doing so long they have worn the edges off and there's nothing to the doing of them that leaves a Hobbit to say, That was not done before and it cannot be done again.
"Guess the durn Ring oughta be destroyed," Frodo says.
"Sho' is," Elrond says.
"Guess I may hafta die doin' it too," Frodo says.
But there's a duty to destroy the Ring, to the beer, the yellow sweet beer boiling through the Shire. Frodo would think of the Ring as he would think of beer and the responsibility they bore in the Shire's face, and of the circumspection necessary because the Ring was the Ring and Sauron was Sauron.
"I reckon it's off to Mordor then, " Frodo says. "If them Shadows come there ain't gonna be no more Shire, and no more beer either. A Hobbit will always help Middle Earth in a tight, if he's got ere a drop of Baggins blood in him."