The Lord of the Rings by J.D. Salinger (author of The Catcher in the Rye)
If you really want to know about it, I can tell you about my family life, history, etc., and all that Gandalf-firework kind of crap, but I really don't feel like writing it all down. Firstly, that stuff bores me, and second of all, both my parents are dead, so there's really no point in telling you about them. I live with my Uncle Bilbo, if you really are interested, and he's a bit touchy about his true life sometimes. I mean, he's nice and all, but he really is touchy and secretive about his life. I don't really believe about him defeating a dragon with his bare hands with a bunch of dwarves at his heels. Honestly. He just isn't the type who would actually do that. I bet he was involved in the whole dragon deal, but he didn't actually do it. Besides, this isn't supposed to be my whole autobiography or anything. I'm just here to tell you about this crazy stuff that happened to me about a year ago. I was sent here, to the Grey Havens, to come and take it easy, living here with a bunch of Elves and the Grey Wizard. That's all I told Sam about, and half the time he was with me on this big old journey, and plus he's practically my best friend. He's in the Shire. That's really far from this timeless place, right over the big wide sea. Too funny, eh?
Where I want to begin is the day I left Bag End. Bag End is this old hobbit hole down in Hobbiton and near Bywater. You've probably heard old Pippin and Merry talking about it. It was where I used to live with my Uncle Bilbo, before I went on this crazy journey and all. Anyway, it was a weird day. Bilbo sort of left--disappeared, rather, at the end of his birthday speech. I knew he was going to. I'm a pretty bright kid. Well, getting back to the point, the Sackville-Bagginses started to bother me, and I told Merry to deal with them. A few days later Gandalf came to visit. He told me about this weird, screwed-up creature named Gollum. This is actually a few years before I started my journey, but I suppose this is where the whole story actually begins. Well, I decided to wait till Bilbo's birthday--and my birthday--to start. Gandalf caught Sam eavesdropping when we were talking. He was actually working for a conspiracy, but I'll tell you about that later. At least he wasn't all phony about it. He's an honest fellow, Sam. That's the good thing. Except he can be real dumb sometimes too, like that time on my journey when he thought I was dead. Well anyway Gandalf told me to head to Rivendell, where the Elves are. So Pippin, Sam, and I started out, walking in secret to get out of the Shire. On the way this nasty Black Rider appeared on the road. I don't know what he did, but he sort of sniffed for something--I think it was that crazy Ring I'd been carrying around. Well Pippin and Sam got really scared, but I sort of felt like putting on the Ring. I didn't see the big deal. Then we heard some Elves singing. Those Elves...well, they're very complex creatures. A bit superior to all races. Even hobbits.
Whoa...I could go on with this for a long time...tell me what you think.
dragongirlG
[ March 12, 2002: Message edited by: dragongirlG ]
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