[Lostgaeriel]

Sorry, I got no John Knowles, no Faulkner and no Wachowski brothers. Shakespeare is included in spirit in the parody of a Wayne & Shuster TV sketch, 'Rinse the Blood Off My Elf-Cloak' on thread page 2.

I do have this to add. (As usual, I need some serious help with Elvish translations.)

Out-takes and excerpts from The Lord of the Rings as directed by George Roy Hill & written by William Goldman (director & screenwriter, respectively, of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969)

Retitled Frodo (Butch) Baggins and the Samwise Kid

(Crossing the Silverlode on the rope bridge)
LEGOLAS: I can walk this path, but the others have not this skill. Must they swim?
THE SAMWISE KID: I can’t swim.
BUTCH BAGGINS: Why you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.

OR

(The Samwise Kid dives into the Anduin after Butch Baggins takes one of the boats to cross the river above Rauros.)
BUTCH BAGGINS: What’s the matter with you?
THE SAMWISE KID: I can’t swim.
BUTCH BAGGINS: Why you crazy? The Falls will probably kill you.

AND

(The Samwise Kid and Butch Baggins meeting Faramir and the Rangers of Ithilien)
BUTCH BAGGINS: (reading a slip of paper, in halting Sindarin) Til paur menel. (Put your hands up.)
THE SAMWISE KID: They’ve got them up.
BUTCH BAGGINS: (in halting Sindarin) Thanga galadhon. (Stand up against the trees.)
THE SAMWISE KID: They are up against the trees.
...
(upon arriving in Mordor)
BUTCH BAGGINS: You know, it could be worse. You get a lot more for your money in Mordor. I checked on it.
THE SAMWISE KID: What could they have here that you could possibly want to buy?
...
BUTCH BAGGINS: Jeesh, all Mordor can't look like this.
THE SAMWISE KID: How do you know? This might be the garden spot of the whole country. People may travel hundreds of miles just to get to this spot where we're standing now. This might be the Cerin Amroth of all Mordor for all you know.
BUTCH BAGGINS: Look, I know a lot more about Mordor than you know about Cerin Amroth.
THE SAMWISE KID: AHA! You do huh? I was born there; I was born in Lothlórien. Was brought up there, so...
BUTCH BAGGINS: You're from the Golden Wood? I didn't know that.
THE SAMWISE KID: The total tonnage of what you don't know is enough to shatter...
GOLLUM: I'm not sure we're accomplishing as much as we'd like here.
THE SAMWISE KID: (to Gollum) Listen, your job is to back me up, because you'd starve without me. (to Frodo) And you, your job is to shut up!
BUTCH BAGGINS: (to Gollum) He'll feel a lot better after he’s stolen a couple of Rings.
THE SAMWISE KID: Mordor! Ha-ha-ha-haa!
...
(Frodo & Sam crossing Gorgoroth, discussing orcs)
BUTCH BAGGINS: Ah, you're wasting your time. They can't track us over rocks.
THE SAMWISE KID: Tell them that.
BUTCH BAGGINS: (after looking for himself) Who are those guys?
...
BUTCH BAGGINS: How many of them are following us?
THE SAMWISE KID: All of them!
...
GOLLUM: (singing) The Road goes ever on and on / Down from the door where it began. / Now far ahead the Road has gone, / And I must follow, if I can, / Pursuing it with eager feet, / Until it joins some larger way / Where many paths...
BUTCH BAGGINS: (interrupting) I think they're in the trees up ahead.
THE SAMWISE KID: In the bushes on the left.
BUTCH BAGGINS: I'm telling you, they're in the trees up ahead.
THE SAMWISE KID: You take the trees; I'll take the bushes.
GOLLUM: Will you two beginners cut it out!
BUTCH BAGGINS: Well, we're just trying to spot an ambush, Mr. Gollum.
GOLLUM: Morons. I've got morons on my team. Nobody is going to rob us going up the Mountain. We have got no Ring going up the Mountain. When we have got the Ring, on the way back, then you can sweat.

[ April 30, 2002: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]