I don't think the attitudes of the Elves in The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are contradictory. Why can they not be happy at some times and melancholy at others? For instance, they might be melancholy when an evil Maia is on the brink of conquering the continent, and happy when he's not.
As for Elrond being an Elf-friend:
I have friends that are humans. I'm a human-friend. I'm also a human.
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