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Feanor's plan was not to have the Teleri taxi them to Middle-Earth but the borrow the ships
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Nope. This is from The Silmarillion-
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but would rather dissuade them than aid them; and no ship would they lend, nor help in the building, against the will of the Valar
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Feanor offered those other options.
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which he almost certainly would never have returned
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I wouldn't assume that he would steal the ships if they willingly helped him. And if they would've helped him build ships then they would be his to keep.
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Fëanor, on the other hand, assumed that he was in the right
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Has anyone ever thought for a moment that perhaps he was? When he answered the herald of the Valar and ended with "Yea, in the end they shall follow me. Farewell!", his voice was so great and potent that the herald bowed before him. Maybe he was right. The Valar did end up following the same road to the same purpose as Feanor, across the sea to fight Morgoth.
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what did they think, that the Noldor would just stay trapped in Aman if they couldn't find any way to leave?
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They didn't know what to think. The Valar were in a new situation, they were faced with a great being that was adamantly refusing their advice and insisting that he was correct and determined to follow his own path.
Do you think that there was some pride involved on the Valar's part? (remember, they're free beings completely subject to mistakes and incorrect feelings, thoughts, and actions) Perhaps they were being slapped with the reality that they weren't rulers, they weren't perfect in their judgment, and that a mere elf could hold more sway over people's hearts than they could.
I take Feanor's statement "In the end they shall follow me" at face value. I think that the Valar eventually realized their mistake of hindering the Noldor's destiny (and having too large an influence over the Teleri, resulting in their blind refusal to so much as help the Noldor).
I think the ridiculous amount of influence the Valar had over the Teleri is one of the most interesting aspects of this whole debate. It was like a dictatorship or something. "The Valar wish this, so I'll completely treat their wish like an all out command and assume that the Valar are perfect. I don't need to think and discern for myself, I'm just a puppet." I think that is so horrible.
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Apparently, not all Elves are nancy Vanyar!
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Careful. You don't want to tick off the Vanyar lovers so much that they'd post on this thread (because many of them double as Noldor haters).