[Kalimac]

To be honest, the first thing I thought was "Oh no, is this `Ralph Bakshi: The Vengeance'?". The animated hobbits are back, and they mean business! I'm going to admit straight out that my perspective on the value of an animated LOTR is very influenced by memories of the Bakshi atrocity. "I must consult with the Wizard Aruman" etc.<P>That said, I don't think Disney would really do a better job than Peter Jackson's live action version, in fact I think they'd do worse (I'd have more hope for a Pixar LOTR, and Pixar is a division of Disney, but OTOH CGI, while wonderful, is still slightly dicey when it comes to animating really believable humans or part-humans. Even in "Shrek" you couldn't really call Lord Farquaad or Fiona the epitome of realism the way, say, Aragorn or Sam would have to be). But a straight-up Disney cartoon would be problematic for several reasons.<P>1) convincing-looking characters, or: By Elbereth the Fair, You Shall Not Make Them Cute. It's true that they'd have a much easier time getting the proportions right (though to defend Jackson's LOTR, I thought the shrinking effects were actually quite well-done - yes, you could see in a couple of places that they were obviously midget doubles, but you really had to look). But proportions aside, animating humans is not the best thing that Disney does. All the hobbits would have eyes even larger than Elijah Wood's - scary, I know - and would be cute, cute, cute in the Woodland Creatures In "Snow White" way - the sort of faces that seem incapable of even getting a dirt smudge on them. Aragorn and Boromir would probably most resemble John Smith from Pocahontas; not good. As for the Elves, even more than the hobbits these are characters where cuteness would be absolutely fatal to the idea behind them. Do you really think Disney would be able to resist the Cute factor and maybe make the characters look as disheveled and unshaven as they undoubtedly were once in a while?<P>2) Animal companions. I don't mean Bill the Pony. That's fine. I mean a Bill the Pony who can talk. Almost every Disney feature has given the hero or at least the evil foil an animal friend who can talk or at least indicate human-level comprehension. The only instance in LOTR where this kind of thing would be even close to right would be that very brief scene in "Three's Company" with the fox. But this being Disney, they know that this sort of thing amuses cartoon viewers and they'd want to stick with what they've done the last 80 times, so in would go the animal companion - maybe Bill the Pony, maybe a Raven or Eagle who would conveniently tag along with the Fellowship. <P>3) Background scenery and sets. Middle-Earth needs to be dirty, real and convincing or else it will seem so remote that it's impossible to be really concerned about the characters (if they're living in glossy Cartoon Land, of course they'll be fine. They're the good guys). You could achieve that look in a cartoon, but it would take a heck of a lot of work and still not be nearly as convincing as taking five minutes to smudge dirt on Sean Astin's face. <P>4) That's Entertainment! What's a Disney cartoon without a musical number - several in fact? I doubt that the debacle of "Frodo of the Nine Fingers" from the ROTK cartoon would deter the storyboard people too much. I don't know if Gandalf would sing the history of the Ring (hard to find rhymes for "Isildur" and "Sauron") but Frodo would probably have a song about leaving Bag End, Sam would have a song about friendship and following him to end, Aragorn would probably have a solo ("I Just Can't Wait To Be King" maybe ) Merry and Pippin would do a comic duet, etc etc etc. <P>5) Plot changes. You think changing Arwen's role was bad, wait until you see what Disney would do with it (I'm basing this on the books and history stories that they've adapted before). Want to see Merry and Pippin storming Orthanc singlehanded? Want to see Frodo marry Rose Cotton and live happily ever after ever? Want to see Aragorn gaining immortality instead of Arwen losing it? Here's where you would find it. <P>Whew! Sorry, I hope I didn't just steamroll this topic into the ground. I just don't like Disney too much, and just wanted to lay out the reasons against their making a cartoon out of LOTR. If anyone wants to write a rejoinder, please do so .