[Angry Brandybuck]

This one is alright, the first paragraph works quite well but gets worse after that.

Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his roadies. 'Come, if you are not all stoned!' Then 12 of them carried up the amps to him. Swiftly he snatched a microphone from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the microphone amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor smoked upon the table, and standing there wreathed in drums and lights he took the smoke machine of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his inner thigh. Casting the pieces into the blaze he stroked and laid himself on the table, clasping the mag-lite with both ears upon his knee. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that mag-lite, unless he had great strength of elbow to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two vomit inducing cakes welding in flame.

Gandalf in grief and trepidation turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, staggerred upon the threshold, while those outside heard the shocked roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a piercing wail of feedback, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by wealthy capibaras.