Sorry. one of the sentences in that passage is rather confusing...
Quote:
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Ferethor stared with only a widening of the eyes that betrayed his fear and amaze at Atharen with a silver-bound kindjal in his hand. 'Fool!' He thought, panic gleaming in his eyes, "If he is captured as an accomplice, who'd protect the company, for Eru's sake?"
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First of all, what is a kindjal? Secondly, when you say '"fool!" he thought' - who thought, Atharen or Ferethor? I would rather you did not use Atharen from his own point of view; I'm generall quite relaxed about use of my characters, but please keep it focused from your own character rather than mine. Thanks
Thirdly: Do I have to kill him? Somehow I think a ranger of the same descendance as the King, and who fought in The Last Alliance, and who, as already mentioned, feels he has an alliance with Gondor...would not be altogether keen to be going about killing the Gondorian soldiers. Just a thought
However, if I do injure him, would you be content if it wasn't fatal? Rather than attempting to kill one of the guards which will only completely infuriate them and, thinking about it, probably jerk them into action, it would probably be more effective generally if the ranger, or whoever, grabbed one of them - Meren, if you wish - holding him, whatever, at knifepoint, so as to prevent any of the guards from injuring any of his company. The guards would not want to be responsible for any injury of another fellow guard, and would possibly still be quite shocked, and so Ferethor would be able to wriggle away, folllowed by Aelimur (who would be there, right?). Atharen would throw back the guard and follow suit, slamming the door behind them and, if at all possibly, jamming or locking it in some way.
Rather dramatic and much less violent. What do you say?