Aragorn: Hmm, what's it called? There and Back Again, eh. Not a bad story, Bilbo. But what it's really lacking is a shady ranger type who turns out to be the lost heir to a kingdom, and who heroically rescues his companions time and time again, turns the tide of every battle that he's involved in, reclaims his throne, is loved and adored by everyone and marries his childhood sweetheart who just happens to be the spitting image of the most beautiful Elf that ever walked the ...
... Bilbo?
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!
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