[Hot, crispy nice hobbit]

I orginally started something like this in the Books discussion session, but it seems now that it deserves to be down here more than in a serious discussion. You can find it in the SPice for Balrog-Wings Soup...(never seen this anywhere before) thread.

The time has come... to expose the Evil design of the Dark Enemy of the World... His most Heinous Crime yet after the revolting genetic experiments which created the Orcs...

The Fabrication of FINs for Balrogs.

As a show of utter contempt for the Order of Maia which had devoted served the creator, the Nihilistic Genome Scientist Melkor made scaly clappers for the once-noble race of fire-spirits who had followed Him. This is also an attribute of the mockery Melkor had felt for Ulmo's scaled Mermaid/Merman tail, as He did for all of Ulmo's dominion. (Everything from his pointy trident, to seaweed crown) This alone may have been Melkor's vilest Crime against his own kindred and an obcenity to the Devine Eyes of Illuvator.

Such FINs as had been designed by Melkor, are such shame unto the Balrog themselves that they never, save under command, stray outside of Melkor's Iron Laboratories, and to do so only with great chargrin; clothing themselves with thick fumes to hide their slimy underneath. In fact, the existance of the FINS was such an unsightly shame on the part of the Balrogs that many sought to end their own existence.

Prior, there were thousands upon thousands of Balrogs that had rose to the call of Melkor. The self-destruction by the disgraced Balrogs reduced the total population to a purported Eight, with Five having hid themselves from public view under the roots of mountains. Balrogs were believed to have ended their misery by throwing themselves over the Walls guarding the Iron Laboratories, some under the delusion (induced by grieve) that the FINS were wings that enable them powers of flight. No Balrogs were known to survive such attempts.

(Being Spirits of Fire themselves, they oozed a flamable liquid which kept their skin burning continously. Balrogs who had escaped from the destruction of the First Age had buried themselves underground and were subsequently crushed by the weight of rocks. The liquid essence that they leaked were compressed into a thick black volatile liquid highly valued in later Ages.)

The Creation of FINs for Balrogs had earned Melkor not just infamy, but also the Wrath of the Valar, for they could not stand the sight of those who were once their brethren being humiliated in such wanton manner. Surely, the Malice of Professor Melkor had earned him the title Dark Enemy of the World even before the theft of the Silmarilli which, though esteemed among the Wise, are trivial Elven twinklets.