Theoden preparing for battle
All right... Theoden scene...
Theoden: I hate wars.
Gamling: Well... if we just sent Eowyn and Enya out there... I'm sure that might work.
Theoden: Enya?
Gamling: That's why Peter has the handheld.
Theoden: Um. right. Give me my armor.
Gamling: As you wish.
(Behind scenes:
PJ: I'm getting tired of this handheld.
Enya: Well, sorry.
Howard: BERNARD, DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!! I NEED SOME THEME MUSIC FIRST!!!!!!!!
J.R.R. Tolkien: LET ME OUT OF THIS CLOSET NOW!!!! YOU ARE MOCKING MY WRITING!!!!
Tom Bombadil: Now now, don't be hasty...
Goldberry: Make haste while the sun shines!
PJ: Arg.
Howard: Oooo!! THE ULTAMATE THEME MUSIC!!!!!!!!
(End begind scene...)
Theoden: Interesting theme music.
Gamling: Ooo!! STAR WARS MUSIC!!!!!!! (Pulls out lightsabers...) (Duel of the Fates begins to play in BG.)
Theoden: Gamling, I am your father!
Gamling: You will die!
Theoden: Who am I, Gamling?
Gamling: You are my father, you said so yourself.
Theoden: Do you trust your father?
Gamling: No.
Theoden: Then I am your king.
Gamling: You know what?
Theoden: (Parries blows) What?
Gamling: I'm not left handed!
Theoden: Hmm... I'm not left handed either!
(Behind scenes:
J.R.R. Tolkien: YOU ARE MOCKING ME!!!! LET ME OUT, I'LL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!
PJ: All the more reason not to let you out.
Howard: I'll let you out... just let me get the dark foreboding theme music!!!!!
Enya: I will sing loudly again.
Haldir: NOOOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!! YOU WILL HURT MY POINTY EARS!!!!!!!
Agent Smith: It is inevitable.
PJ: CUT!!!!!!
(End behind scenes)
Theoden: Ow ow ow!!!! YOU DROPPED MY SWORD ON MY TOE!!!!!!!!!!!
Aragorn: I'm sorry to disturb you, but they called cut.
PJ: NO! NO!! KEEP ACTING!!!!!!
Tolkien: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
Aragorn: Who's that?
PJ: It's the theme music.
Howard: I'm going to kill you.
PJ: I've had enough of that today.
Agent Smith: Reallllllllly?
PJ: I'm trying to film.
(Everything goes out)
PJ v.o: THAT WAS MY SECOND CAMERA!!!!! WHO DID THAT?!?!?!
Tolkien v.o.: I did, Mr. Jackson.
Theoden v.o.: Does this mean I can't keep the lightsaber?
PJ v.o.: Where did you get a lightsaber?!
Gamling v.o.: Umm... la de da...
Theoden v.o.: How do a put on this @#$% armor anyhow?
(Everything comes back in.)
PJ: I think we'll remove that last piece. Where's Tolkien go?
(Behind scenes:...
Agent Smith: Umm.... err...
Random wraith: Errrr....
PJ: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU KILLED J.R.R. TOLKIEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Tolkien: But I was already dead...
PJ: (Beats them up with a medal pole.)
Faramir: You haven't got me the coffee yet.
Howard: WAIT, I NEED TO AD THE THEME MUSIC!!!!!
(End behind scenes...)
Theoden: I can't breathe in this armor.
Gamling: It's not on yet.
Theoden: Well, whoever made this left out one this. I'm King Theoden Hal!!!!!!!!
Gamling: Just stand still so I can put the dang armor on...
Theoden: *gack* I... can't... breathe...
Haldir: Good.
Theoden: Who are you?!
Haldir: Your worst nightmare.
Theoden: I'm dressed, let's go.
Haldir: YOU ARE BREATHING TOO LOUD!!!!!!!!
Gamling: Can I kill him?
Theoden: No.
(End scene.)
How was that?!
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