[Lhundulinwen]

Ms. Maril,

Thank you for such an enlightening topic! Those old dish rags of a hobbit, especially Lousewart Chastitybelt and her cronies, have their noses so far up, they haven't noticed how they got children in the first place. Their poor husbands have had to visit my fine establishments many times, sometimes more than seems proper, but a hobbit has needs.
As for the 'friends' at Marish, they are outstanding members of the community, and whatever goes on behind close doors is none of anyones business. As for, how do you say?, the foot 'fettish', well, where else can you get such lovely feet but on a hobbit?
Please continue printing, and maybe the Garden Club will come to their senses.

Thanks again,
Daisy 'Rabbit' Fields
Frogmorten, Shire

P.S. Lousewart was seen entering the Green Dragon with another hobbit fellow, and didn't leave for 4 hours. P.P.S. She is supposedly against alchohol...