Ah yes, the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch;" one of my personal favorites.
Hmmm, this will probably be a shorter and slightly incorrect version, but I can't resist.
Aragorn: "Bring out the 'User's Guide to the Holy Hand Grenade of Aman.'"
Gandalf (as he brings forth the grenade and instruction booklet) : "Pies Iesu Domine, dorme eis requiem."
Aragorn: "Proceed to read the instructions."
Gandalf: "Hold forth thy Holy Hand Grenade of Aman, and pull the Holy pin. Proceed to count to three. Thou shalt not count no more and no less than three, but three only. Two thou shalt not count, unless thou proceedeth directly onto three. Five is right out. The number three being counted, and the number counted being three, throw thy Holy Hand Grenade of Aman and thy foe shall snuff it."
Aragorn: "Right." *pulls pin* "One...two...five!"
Hama: "Three, sir!"
Aragorn: "I mean three!"
*throws grenade at a squadron of orcs; who promptly blow up*
Narrator: "And so the way was cleared for the king to proceed to the aid of Rohan. And there was much rejoicing."
All: "Hooray."
Huh, I guess it wasn't that short.
