Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen,
We at Magical Improbabilites Inc. would like to take a moment to lay aside all questions of time travel, mechanical mishmashery, fashion faux pas, and ethnic parody, to address a matter which is, no doubt, far more important.
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Pimpi scowled, but a scowl not missed by Soregum who lost no opportunity to be of service by offering the ample hobbit miss his arm to steady herself as she attempted the flighty stairs into the trailer, which nearly bent beneath her weight.
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We are concerned and confounded at this slanderous and unfounded insinuation that our dear Pimpiowyn is, dare we say, fat! While she does indulge in various fattening comestibles, her nature as a Mary Sue Sidekick and Shieldmaiden In Training grants her complete amnesty from all unpleasant and/or plump side effects. Either that, or she just has a really, really,
really high metabolism. A picture of a very fat hobbit stashed somewhere in her attic is also a possibility.
We thank you for your time,
Pipsissewa Took*, Founder and CEO of Magical Improbabilities Inc.
* Note: Yes, gentle readers, some of you may recognize the name of Pimpi's dead mother. Which makes it all the more improbable, does it not?